How To Get Your Man To Talk More
You never expected it! But it is really
happening… You got married to a
man who talked to you abou anything and everything, but getting
him to say a few words to you now, is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Why is this so? There are a bunch of reasons why your man might not seem sointerested in talking to you. Don’t be mad! It
is true that men are so different from women and they just do not
enjoy talking about all the “stuff” that women enjoy harping on about. I hear you say “But he always talked to me about these same things before we
got married, so why would he stop now?” Aha…you have to realize that to him, The chase is over. Before you married him, he had ONE goal
in mind, to get you on his side. Men are
logical creatures and
are smart enough to
figure out that they
have to do whatever it
takes to get this damsel
on their side. Once
that goal has been
attained, they slide
back into their natural
tendency to be the
“non-speaking” specie.
They are typically a lot
more pensive and less
talkative by nature.
They have so much on
their minds and are
constantly thinking
about their next move
on something or the
other and could
honestly care less
about what you deem
necessary to talk
about.
But this ought not be
so.
If you’ve heard me say
it once, you’ve heard
me say it a thousand
times – communication
is the lifeline of every
relationship. Though it
isn’t their natural
inclination to become
your gisting buddy,
they do have to find a
way to talk to you, but
you have to meet them
halfway. While
conversations about
your hair/nail/waxing
appointment or ‘tales
of woe’ about how all
women hate you,
might have ‘seemed’
interesting to them in
the past, men just
rather not talk about
things without
substance. And before
you say “It’s not fair,
this is what I want to
talk about! Shouldn’t
he join in on the
conversation full
steam?” think – would
you want him to
inundate you with
details about sports, if
it really isn’t your
thing?
You both have to
meet somewhere in
the middle.
An important part of a
healthy relationship is
friendship. To become
friends, you have to
talk more. It doesn’t
work the other way
around. So have
discussions about what
he loves to talk about,
what his interests are,
his dreams, his life
goals, his favorite
pastime or his new
business. Finding a
way to tune into his
life shows him that
you are interested in
what he does and
would love to know
more. A majority of
men think their wives
are just so self-
absorbed, so talking to
him about his life
would be a good way
to kill that impression.
And speak kindly to
him too.
Talking to your
husband just isn’t
enough. How exactly
do you have a
conversation with
him? Ever heard of the
dreaded four traits
that are common in
relationships that end
up in a broken mess?
The first trait is
criticism. No one
(especially men) wants
to be approached with
that index finger (or
more) wagging at them
and pointing out their
inadequacies. You’ll
put them on the
defensive and anytime
you “approach” them
to talk, all they see is
this blame game
starting to happen all
over again. It becomes
a turn off.
And this works for
both parties too.
To get your man to
talk with you more,
you need to (just as he
too) learn how to
effectively
communicate with
him. While there is so
much information out
there regarding the
proper way to
communicate with
your spouse, you’ll
find a ton of practical
steps to getting it done
by downloading this
free three-part audio
on “How to Master
Communication and
Conflict Resolution”
here. The easy-to-
relate-with
information will help
communication
between you and your
partner soar to new
unimaginable heights.
It’s easy to get him to
talk.
Just get your mind out
of the past and focus in
on how he has evolved
and what things are
most important to him
at this moment. Then,
talk about those
things. If you have to
learn a few things just
to be able to sound
intelligent, do a little
bit of research (thank
God for google) and
then ask him to teach
you how to become an
“expert” in that field of
his interest. Don’t just
go to him blank
expecting him to walk
you through
everything. This could
become tiring for him,
causing him to shut
down.
Then…
Speak to him with love
and respect (Oh!
There’s that word). We
tend to treat strangers
better than we do our
spouses and this isn’t
the right way to
handle things. Not
saying you should
treat strangers
horribly, just saying
you should treat
everyone with some
respect! Especially
your spouse!
“What if I do all this
ZeeZee and he still
doesn’t want to talk
to me?”
Sometimes, change
takes time. The same
way it took years for
bad communication
habits to become deep-
seated, it’ll take some
time for both of you to
imbibe new healthy
communication habits.
Just never give up!
I’d love to hear from
you, ask your
questions, share your
views, comment, like
and share this article
with a loved one who
might need it. It’s
always better when
you share!
Here’s to the new era
of healthy
communication in
your home!
About ZeeZee
ZeeZee is a certified
Relationship and Marriage
Coach who believes her
purpose in life is to equip
couples with the right tools
for a successful relationship.
Through
her website and YouTube
channel she shares practical
tips and principles that help
couples understand the
inner workings of a healthy
marriage.
